5 Myths about Transgendered People

Most of my clients report that they have always felt like they were born into the wrong bodies. Sexuality is often not even part of the major issue when my clients come in for therapy.  When the family of the transgendered client recalls childhood for that person, pieces often fall into place.  I have many times heard the statement, “You know, it all makes sense now when I think about it like that(through the lens of transgender).”  

Lisa Ling has a great segment on one brave family who has allowed their child to live as she wants as a female, in spite of being born with male parts. Check it out here. It’s worth your time. 

Myth #2- All transgendered people are gay. 

As I mentioned above, issues with sexuality and issues with transgender are two complete different issues. The tricky thing to understand is that these people who are transgender have brains that are wired to be the opposite sex from what they were born.  If you have a male brain and are attracted to females, then you would consider yourself heterosexual.  

For example, a person born with female parts feels that he is really a male and his brain is wired as a male brain.  Since this person sees himself as male and is attracted to women, he views himself as heterosexual in spite of his genitals.  Sometimes it is that case that a transgendered person may be attracted to the same sex. Attraction and sexuality varies, just as it does with the non-transgendered population.  

Myth #3- Feelings of being transgendered is just a phase. 

Many family members of transgendered individuals attempt to comfort themselves with the thought that these feelings are “just a phase.”  Studies indicate that those who are transgendered and elect to do hormone replacement and/or surgery rarely regret this decision (the rate of regret is only about 1%).  

Stating that these feelings are a “phase” is more often a negative coping skill by others- an act of sticking the proverbial head in the sand.  The rate of suicide is high for this population. Ignoring or dismissing these feelings will only increase this risk.   

Myth #4- Cross-dressing for fun or being a “drag queen” is the same thing as being transgendered.

Several gay males enjoy dressing as females and doing performances or even competing in pageants. The common term for these people is “drag queen.”  Unless he is performing, the person lives as a male.  This is completely separated than being transgendered. 

A person who is transgendered does not do this for “fun” or attempt to put on a performance.The transgendered person lives each day as the gender they are choosing. For example, we all sit around the house in our most comfortable clothes. When at home alone, a  “drag queen” would typically wear something most typically male and comfortable- such as gym shorts, pajama pants,whatever. In contrast, the transgendered male-to-female person wears a nightgown or a pajama set, something more typically female.   The intent with a transgendered person is to live as they feel they were meant to- how their brains are wired. This has nothing to do with being a \”drag queen.\”

Myth #5- People who identify themselves as transgendered are very rare.

Statistics indicated that about 1 out of every 10 people fall somewhere on the gay or lesbian sexuality spectrum.   While the numbers for transgendered persons are less than this, it is not rare. Approximately 1 out of every 100 people harbor feelings of being transgendered. Think about a typical social function. If 300 people in attendance, odds indicate that about  3 people in that group have feelings that they are transgendered, even if they do not act upon it. 

My transgendered clients are some of my favorites.  They have so much courage to be who they are and then are able to make progress so quickly once they start to transition. In this case, progress means a decrease in depression, anxiety and other mental health issues.  Unfortunately, I don’t usually see these people until they are feeling like they are out of options and are suicidal.  

Being transgendered is not a death sentence. It can and does get better.  If you have any comments or questions about this topic,please contact me. Pass this on to anyone who may be struggling with these types of issues.

To those struggling with these issues:  remember-being transgendered is not wrong.  You are not something that needs to be fixed. You need support and an ally to help you grow into the healthiest, happiest person possible. This is how I can help.