52nd Edition

Well, I'm ready for some precedented times.

Remember when the news was just about tax rates or the job numbers? Or if you get crazy, maybe it's about the newest entertainment venues and if your town REALLY needs another church/bank/nightclub/etc.

I know, good times.

Since I last wrote you all in the Sandtray Ally, it seems like our world, once again, has turned upside down, if only in our brains (if we're so blessed).

While it seems like our pandemic-related news is getting brighter, the information coming out of Ukraine is not only heartbreaking but also nerve-wracking. It seems like after 9-11 (for my generation) and then the pandemic, most of us lost that sense of security related to "but it won't happen HERE, not to me."

Of course, I don't want to speak for everyone, but I know that when I talk to others and especially clients, their levels of anxiety and even hopelessness have been increasing since the war in Ukraine broke out only weeks ago.

In fact, last weekend, I Facetimed my nieces and nephews and they promptly showed me their fort/bunker they had been building all day. Know what it was for? To protect themselves from the Russians (they pretended the Russians were the guy coming to repair the toilet, as one does).

Although their parents attempt to protect them from the grim news, my nephew still watched the war for several hours in the middle of the night without his parents knowledge and then proceeded to tell his sisters all about it.

So, even as caring parents and caregivers, we can't protect kids from all of the things.

The good news for us, as therapists, is that we have a tool that will help clients, especially children, work through their stresses - sandtray therapy.

Side note- these same kids (my nephew and nieces) got their Christmas inflatables stolen out of their yard this past December. Obviously, they were devastated; however, the next day, they happened to be up at my office and all three told the story of the inflatables getting stolen, how they felt, and then what happened as they got them back. But! How they did this was sooo interesting - they did it IN THE SANDTRAY.

No prompting, nothing from me or anyone else - they felt safe and then played through their feelings several times and then DONE.

It was super interesting to watch from a non-therapist viewpoint and almost see their little hearts and heads making sense of things through play.

These little surprise bouts of healing are what keeps me going when I'm wondering what can I do and does it even matter???

To do my small part in helping you maybe not feel so alone and at at loss with your own feelings as well as your clients, I'll be providing several links to help you make sense of what's going on with you and your clients.

Because, aren't we all our first client?? (Otherwise we would be doing something else - like working at a bank or in computers - making more money though for sure!)

In addition to providing links, I'm going to also revisit themes that may be coming up in your sandtray as we all attempt to process and feel through the information coming out of Ukraine and the rest of that portion of the world.

Again, if we know what we may be seeing in the sandtray and how to make sense of the changes, we can better hear and heal our clients.

One more thing, I just love this quote. It sums up exactly how I've been feeling (and I bet you too) over the past couple of weeks.

The news has been covering allll of the things since the war in Ukraine began. It's easy to get sucked in and just scroll and scroll (as mentioned below) but we know that this is often not helpful to our hearts and psyches.

What I'm concentrating on today is information related to how we can process the information and help others. Even small steps in helping others, whether it be in the office with clients or through giving resources to those affected by the war, help us feel and do better overall.

So, let's get to it shall we?

1. Be open, be honest and listen: How to talk to children about Ukraine

While this article covers what you likely know as a therapist, it is a great resource when parents are wondering about how to talk to littles about what is going on. Many parents tend to go to one end of the spectrum or the other - they talk about it all or refrain from any discussion.

Of course, we know that we want to listen and and validate their feelings, while providing helpful reframes for their fears and concerns. One key concept I often remind myself and my clients: those around us (especially little ones) feed off what you are putting out there.

So remember! Get yourself in check before you process information with little hearts.

2. Focus on resiliency tales from those who have lived experiences

Don't you LOVE it when authors reference something you already do in therapy as a tool?? I know I do - it makes me feel validated, like I'm on the right track (yes I know I am, but it does help for it to be reinforced at times).

The author of this article references solution focused therapy as an amazing tool to help others concentrate on the issues in front of them and outline times when they have gone through difficulties.

In addition, it can also be helpful to hear stories from previous generations, like those who lived through the Cold War, to help make sense of what they did to carry on and build resiliency.

3. War in Ukraine sparks doomscrolling

Remember the early days of the pandemic when you had the news on 24/7? Maybe you were riddled with anxiety and constantly looked for answers and ways to combat the fear?

Many people are catching themselves in that same spiral of "doomscrolling" where they are constantly on social media trying to get information in an effort to protect themselves against the unknown.

Of course, our brains are wired to understand and make narratives out of our lives. When the situation we face seems uncontrollable, we seek to just do more of what we know, which is to see what others are saying and check ourselves from there.

The issue arises in that no amount of "doomscrolling" will change what is actually happening, so it is a futile, often harmful activity. This article offers an greater explanation and then also suggestions as to what to do instead.

4. To anyone feeling guilty for carrying on with your life right now.

Referencing the above-mentioned quote, this article explores so many of our experiences right now of feeling torn between experiencing the regular ups and downs of life and needing to feel the feelings of all the people involved the Ukrainan war.

I'm betting that you, as a therapist, can easily see and maybe even feel the terror that goes along with being in a war zone, all while feeling guilty for you having a regular life right now.

This article is an excellent resources for us, as empaths, but also provides helpful reframes for clients who are also experiencing similar thoughts and feelings.

5. Book an AirBnB in Ukraine - but don't go.

Since many of us can't actually physically help those who are suffering due to the conflict in Ukraine, we often seek ways to support those who are in the middle of the nightmare. A recent social media post went viral, encouraging people to book AirBnB rooms from hosts in the Ukarine. The difference here is that no one is actually planning to go, but are using it as a way to support others.

AirBnb is waving it's fees so that 100% of the money goes to the owners of the rooms and are also attempting to provide free housing to those who have relocated to countries like Poland since war broke out.

Messages from owners of the rooms and homes have been expressing their joy from having money come in and then also knowing that many in the world do care. Remember, when we can't fix it all, concentrate on what we can control and help where we can.

It matters and you matter.

So today's resources for you are guidelines about what to expect to see in your sandtray sessions, as the conflict in Ukraine continues, as well as general anxiety related to events, such as the pandemic, inflation, politics, and just life in general.

Of course, these aren't written in stone, but I want to offer them as a guide to help you interpret what you are seeing in the sandtray that may not have been there a month ago.

3 Guidelines for Sandtray Sessions - March of 2022

(Not surprisingly these are VERY similar to what I was talking about in the Sandtray Suite exactly 2 YEARS AGO!)

1. Expect more regulation activities.

You may have a client who was able to tell stores in the sand or do directives but now seeks only to put their hands in the sand and use your handy sifter. This is to be expected.

As our bodies and brains become on higher alert, our brains essentially shut down the higher level processes, which are involved in cognitive thinking, reframing, etc. When these go off line, our brains use what is available to regulate and connect, which is often some of the rhythmic, sensory tools available in our sandtray.

Note this just for yourself and allow your clients to do what they need to do as they heal. Remember, you are there as a container to help heal, not as a fortune-teller.

2. Other trauma experiences resurface.

Maybe you have a client who was thisclose to discharge but then called you last week needing an emergency appointment. They come into your office with their eyes darting back and forth and pressured speech. You wonder if this is even the same person you saw a few weeks ago??

We know that when our sense of safety is in peril (even if imagined) our embodied brain will "help" us navigate this by activating parts of the brain that served us well when we were going through trauma previously. The problem now is that we aren't in the same traumatic situation but our bodies PERCEIVE that we are due to what is coming in through our senses.

What this looks like in therapy: The revisiting or resurgence of issues that you thought were healed or "dealt with."

Keep this in your brain when those clients show back up in your office and explain to them that no, they aren't "going crazy" but that their bodies are attempting to help them in the best way they are able.

3. Sandtrays become appropriate for a younger client.

Your eight-year-old client who was telling moving world stories suddenly becomes quiet and only uses the regulation tools.

Your forty-year-old lawyer is now only using concrete symbols in the tray and has difficulty explaining her feelings.

Your couple who were able to explain differing opinions through the sandtray are now relegated to only using the sandtray as a way to express their own feelings and experiences, since no other method of communication is working.

Expect regressions. Expect for sandtrays to even appear like they did when your client first presented in therapy. Expect for communication to break down.

All of that is okay and even understandable. Again, use this information to help you make sense of what you are seeing, and to help your client's left brain come online, allowing for the use of tools that can make sense of what is occurring below the level of consciousness.

Alright that's it for today's edition of the Sandtray Ally.

I know it may feel like a bit of a HEAVIER edition but I know that you all are likely grappling with understanding how to help your clients and yourself navigate this time in history.

Remember, you've got this AND you have an amazing tool that helps both you and your clients heal when words aren't enough.

See you in 2 weeks!

Amy

P.S. Below is a reminder for all of us....