46th Edition

For nearly my entire adult life (since I started graduate school in 2003), a large part of my identity has centered around being a mental health therapist.

While much as changed since I started graduate school back in the early 00's, it often doesn't FEEL like that long ago. Even before the pandemic, I often had to remind myself that 20 years ago wasn't the 1980's, but NOW it seems like my timeline is all messed up.

So, although time keeps marching on (and as Dolly Parton said in Steel Magnolias "it often marches across our face), I'm at a place in my life I've never experienced. Although this place is one that I've worked hard for and is the result of all good things, all types of feelings have been bubbling up over the past several weeks.

Ok, so what's this change?

I'm no longer a full-time or even part-time therapist.

I no longer have my own therapy office and am no longer doing intakes, making referral calls, or feeling that queasy/hopeful feeling that pops up at the end of the intake when you feel like you can really help them but know that it's going to be a rocky climb for both of you.

What brought about this change you may be wondering?

One word - success.

Our group private practice is BOOMING and we are out of space for offices. We recently hired a new therapist and I'm now floating when I do see my super-small caseload who are mainly just there for maintenance.

Also, Southern Sandtray and Miniature Madness are growing exponentially, which requires me to be more available to serve all of our therapists

Again, all good things, right?

But then why do I feel so......

.....sad, empty, happy, lost, ecstatic, and confused all at the same time?

This has been rattling around in my head and heart for the past month. I've tried talking about it to my safe people and they do get it somewhat but seem to struggle to fully grasp it all.

So, like the sandtray trainer/therapist that I am, I did a tray about it. Take a look below.

What thoughts/feelings come up for you as you look at this?

Take a minute to check in with yourself as experience this tray with me.

As I was building and internally processing, I felt some grief and hope and sadness, all over again. I breathed several times deeply and tried to rest into my body and stay curious about my emotions.

I noticed that one part (right side) had many different positive aspects that are future related, like my husband and I having more time together, working on my meditation and mental health more, and just BEING.

One interesting part of that side of the tray is that no concrete plans arose popped up, which may be the related to some of my anxiety. I know it's going to be different and am confident that it's going to be amazing in this new chapter, but the unknown is scary as hell for me.

But, looking at the on the other side of the path (below) you can see some symbols of struggle.

Again, this is the thing about ambiguous loss, it may not "make sense" because the changes are often positive things.

Of course I'm happy that all of the businesses are thriving so I can focus on doing some of the higher level tasks that need to be accomplished to keep moving forward.

Of course I'm excited about having down time to just rest and focus on my personal life aside from who I am as a therapist.

Of course I'm beyond thrilled that my finances and life are in a place where I can choose my tasks for the day.

So, why are there two cages and grief symbols around the space representing my current feelings??

While I'm still unsteady and unsure of my exact feelings, I'm attempting to rest and lean into this new work/life balance. For YEARS, I've been working so many hours to do ALL THE THINGS. I've always been a firm believer that no one gives you your ambitions, so it's up to you to make it happen.

While this has allowed me to be successful and help others, I'm struggling somewhat to know what it's like and who I am if not a workaholic???

Brene Brown says that perfectionism/workaholism is a way to protect against those painful feelings of vulnerability, which I think is spot on for me. So, in the effort of growth, I'm acknowledging that this is likely a big part of my anxiety,

Naming this and doing regular sandtrays around this transition will be a large part of dealing with this change in a healthy way. Don't worry, I'll be sharing them with you as my fellow sandtray nerds.

To help you (and me) explore this perfectionism part of many of us as therapists (and women in today's society), I'm providing you with 5 directives that I'll be using to explore and heal these feelings. My challenge to you is to do the same.

More on that below.

This is one of my FAVORTIE gifs of all time - and that's saying a LOT seeing as I LOVE gifs!

Ok so for today's quiz, let's talk about ambiguous loss in the sandtray. Yes, we did discuss this topic a few months ago but I think it's worth bringing up again as this pandemic continues into year #2 and all of us everywhere have all types of feelings about it, including some that are, well, mixed and, well, ambiguous.

What below may show up in your sandtray as signs of ambiguous grief or loss?

A. Signs of death

B. Polarization

C. Miniatures that represent all the feelings, such as faces that may be happy/sad/mad

D. Emptiness in the tray

E. Path/bridges

D. Anxiety/confusion themes such as cages or fences

E. All of the above

Answer below!

As promised above, I'm included 5 sandtray directives that I'll be using over the next several months to help with this transition and to aid me with working through and feeling my feelings - since eating them isn't an option any more 🙁

I'd encourage you to do one of these directives yourself and post in the FREE Facebook group, the Sandtray Movement. Look out for this graphic below in the FREE group and post a picture of your tray along with the directive you used.

We'll randomly choose a winner for a $50 gift card to Miniature Madness from those who posted in the group under the graphic.

You'll have until December 17th to post - we'll be announcing the winner on that Friday.

NOW - Look for this graphic and post your sandtrays to be entered to win!

And since we LOVE giving you free resources (and you'll need it to complete the challenge!) click and save the directives below.

Feel free to print out or click save to your computer for quick reference!

AND!! We have MORE goodies for you!

Here at Southern Sandtray, we are always looking for ways to serve our therapy community. To further that mission, we have created a line (limited so far but it will grow quickly) of apparel created specifically for mental health therapists.

Anyone can purchase these shirts (we ship worldwide).

They are perfect for wearing under a cardigan at the office or just sporting that you have the amazing gift of healing others.

Check out shop out below!

https://southernsandtray.com/shop/

Part of our 2022 plan is to EXPAND this shop depending on what you request and what you are loving. So, if you see something you want, go ahead and grab it.

Have suggestions of what you would like to see??

Simply reply to this email and we will try to get it up on the shop!

Also- we'll soon be expanding into other items such as wall hangings, journals, mugs, and all things related to helping you feel seen and validated as you save the world one sandtray at a time!

Important reminder!

You're going to get the chance to get credentialed in sandtray therapy very soon! We are opening registration January 3rd, 2022 for our next two ICST cohorts happening in 2022.

BUT! As mentioned before, we are doing something different than ever before...we're only opening registration through email for the first spots.

Last year, our ICST spots were GONE within hours of opening registration. This year, we're opening a special wait-list that will get early access to the coveted ICST training spots through Southern Sandtray and yours truly.

If you want on the special early-bird list, click below and you'll be the FIRST to get notified when we open the invite-only registration on January 3, 2022.

The dates and other info are listed on this waitlist page as well.

2022 ICST Waitlist

Wondering what ICST is all about??

It's the way you get credentialed to be a sandtray therapist through IAST.

For more info - check out this page below

https://southernsandtray.com/icst/

Ya'll life is good right now, in spite of all of the wishy-washy feelings I have about my transition (so you don't worry about me!)

To prove to you that I'm loving so much of my life right now, take a look at some of the pictures from my phone.

Notice friends going to a Morgan Wallen concert, family, an amazing 2021 ICST cohort, and the release of my FAVORITE book series of all time.