For nearly my entire adult life (since I started graduate school in 2003), a large part of my identity has centered around being a mental health therapist.
While much as changed since I started graduate school back in the early 00's, it often doesn't FEEL like that long ago. Even before the pandemic, I often had to remind myself that 20 years ago wasn't the 1980's, but NOW it seems like my timeline is all messed up.
So, although time keeps marching on (and as Dolly Parton said in Steel Magnolias "it often marches across our face), I'm at a place in my life I've never experienced. Although this place is one that I've worked hard for and is the result of all good things, all types of feelings have been bubbling up over the past several weeks.
Ok, so what's this change?
I'm no longer a full-time or even part-time therapist.
I no longer have my own therapy office and am no longer doing intakes, making referral calls, or feeling that queasy/hopeful feeling that pops up at the end of the intake when you feel like you can really help them but know that it's going to be a rocky climb for both of you.
What brought about this change you may be wondering?
One word - success.
Our group private practice is BOOMING and we are out of space for offices. We recently hired a new therapist and I'm now floating when I do see my super-small caseload who are mainly just there for maintenance.
Also, Southern Sandtray and Miniature Madness are growing exponentially, which requires me to be more available to serve all of our therapists
Again, all good things, right?
But then why do I feel so......
.....sad, empty, happy, lost, ecstatic, and confused all at the same time?
This has been rattling around in my head and heart for the past month. I've tried talking about it to my safe people and they do get it somewhat but seem to struggle to fully grasp it all.
So, like the sandtray trainer/therapist that I am, I did a tray about it. Take a look below.