Springs here ya'll.
And I'm loving it.
It's a time of change, renewal, and growth.
Now, for me, this sounds amazing but in reality, all the changes and shifts that seem to be happening EVERYWHERE and to nearly EVERYONE are scary as hell.
And - since this is MY newsletter, I'm going to say something controversial here - if you're not a little uncomfortable about something in your life, then you're not working to grow and be the best you.
So, what this means - that most of YOU are sitting in some type of uncomfortableness RIGHT NOW. Maybe it's about your career, your family, who you are as a person, etc etc. This shift out of pandemic mode is amazing in so many ways but returning to this "new normal" (whatever that means) leads us to be different people and have different perspectives two years later.
But why am I talking about shifts right now?
1). As mentioned, the whole world is trying to figure out who are are now after all the things
2). I'm going through my own shifts personally and am trying to see who I am right now as of May 2, 2022
To help us all (me especially), I'm sharing what I've been mulling over in my head. You're likely not shocked when I mention this is from Brene Brown's work (yes I'm a fan and even a certified Daring Way therapist).
In her work, she discusses how throughout life, we need to ensure that "Our values light the way" when we make choices. But, before that, we have to KNOW our values and this is DIFFICULT.
How many times do I SAY that health is one of my values value but then I treat myself to a fast food dinner because I've had a hard day??
How many times do I SAY that forgiveness is one of my values but I cling to my grudges like Rose on that door (and YES Jack could have fit on that thing too #neverletgo).
You get the picture...
So to help me through this time of shifts and changes in my life, I returned to the list of values in Brene's work to highlight how I need to live my life to align with my values.
To take a look at how all of this works and fits together - as well a list of the possible values for yourself - click the link below.
I highly encourage you to print this out for yourself AND use it with clients.
For me, the two words that jump out at me and seem to guide my path with most of my decisions are:
...drum roll please....
Those of you who know me well are likely/hopefully not shocked by these two answers.
How this plays out in my life?
Just off the top of my head:
I'm an entrepreneur because I like having say over my own time and I really despise anyone telling me what I HAVE TO do (my parents can DEF attest to this one)
I don't have children because I value independence so highly.
I'm not so much of a "joiner" because I find it hard to commit fully to agreeing with everything within an organization and abiding by rules that I don't see the point in. Fun fact: I declined many invites into sororities within college for this very reason.
Part of me being real and living into my values is writing this fairly personal newsletter to thousands of therapists from all over the world. It's scary, but I do it because I believe in SHOWING UP, warts and all.
I'm farrrr from perfect and will likely be the first to admit when I mess up. The strong-willed, selfish part of me fights this, but I do work HARD to look at myself and my role in situations, which is part of the reason I have a therapist and close family/friends who will call me on my B.S. when needed.
One of the my most prized compliments received from ICST trainees goes along the lines of "Wow, you're so real. You're just like you are in your videos, blog posts, etc." I HOPE I am and strive to be the best version of me, all while admitting that sometimes (ok a lot of the time,) I'm just WINGING it and hoping for the best.
BTW - Did you ever think that once you got to THE AGE YOU ARE NOW, you would have it figured out?? I know I did. And -- nope, I'm still often wondering around in the wilderness just like I was at 20, only now the landscape tends to be more expensive 🙂
So, what does all of this have to do with sandtray??
I challenge YOU to look over the list and choose your two values to light your way. And then, I want you to make a tray for yourself about how your are showing up in your life through these values.
This is the time to get real and messy with yourself. If family is a value, how is this lighting your path within your life?
Maybe one of your values is faith - what is your faith practice and how do you know if you're doing it??
Do a tray about this folks - and of course, I'm not doing anything I'm not asking YOU to do.
Within the next Ally, I'll show you MY two trays around my values and process a bit about what it was like for me with this exercise.
Again, part of being authentic is not asking you to do anything I wouldn't first do myself.
You up for it?? Good! We'll be prompting you to post yours in the FREE Facebook group this month so get ready!